I loves my Puppy
I miss those days, moments when we made each other smile. Today, they are a memory, a vivid one as if it were yesterday.
Today was a strange day for me. I try to stay motivated and focused, but the truth is, you live in my head 24/7, and I love it. I love thinking about you and remembering you. But it motivates me to think that I can improve on every point I see when I wake up and can recognize every flaw, even the tiniest one I had, to start fixing them, dealing with them, and becoming the best version of myself.
It's strange not having you close. It had already become very difficult when we stopped living together, even seeing you one day, and not the next. The feeling of missing you and waiting for you remains intact.
I would love to know about you, your fears, if you're feeling good, about your thoughts. You know we used to talk for countless hours on the phone. I miss your spontaneous calls, I miss you so much. People talk, counselors say everything takes time, but those who haven't truly been in love, from my point of view, will never understand what it feels like. The feeling of missing you will never leave my body, never.
Today, yes, I look at photos and cry. I hope in the future, I can look at them and simply smile at the beautiful things we were, at the dreams we had together.
Every passing day, I wish you the best, that you can smile every single day, because your smile means everything. In my heart and memory, you will always be "my puppy, my poppito," and you know it.
I want to confess that there are days when I talk to myself, saying things we used to tell each other. For example, when we used to shout, "I love my puppyyyyyy..." and wait for the response we both know. It saddens me not to receive that response with your sweet voice. But it makes me smile when I'm sad. Because beyond all the bad things that happened, we had something special. We created a unique love and language. And I'm one of those who believe that this only happens with one person, because you, you are my favorite person in this world, you always will be.
Do you know why you're my favorite person?
Simply because you exist, because your voice exists, and because your huge heart is on this planet.
Because I used to stay and watch you for hours, unable to believe I found you in this world, a world where connecting with someone is rare.
Because every beautiful word I've said to you throughout time was always real and true. And that's what I'm most certain of in this world. The fact that I could tell you those words, even though I had so much more to say. I've been able to express my love to you on several occasions, unfortunately, many times you didn't believe it, or my actions cast doubt on my words. And I'm sorry, as much as I miss you every day, I'm so sorry.
Thank you for reading me; you know that you'll always find some of my feelings written here.
Well, poppito, I'm going to sleep because I'm tired.
I will love you forever,
F.
Published on 28/07/2023