Hey,
It's true, you're right D
Today, I admit you're right. I can't seem to change. Another day I mess up, another day I push you away.
The thought of you leaving, walking out that door, feels like I'm falling off a cliff. Maybe I'm still hurt from months ago, and I apologize.
Sometimes I'm just seeking love and understanding, but I think I come across wrong and end up doing the opposite.
I'm sorry for everything. I know I'll never be enough, I'll never be able to give you what you deserve, or to have you forgive my past.
I noticed you took the brush, the one that gave me hope when you left for those months. I got the message.
I won't bother you, I just wanted you to know if I didn't speak to you today, it's because I knew you're very mad at me. You might not reply, or I don't know, but I hope you'll read this if I'm lucky.
I love you so much and carry you with joy in my soul. You have a special place in my heart as the most beautiful girl I've ever met.
I'm sorry for hurting you all this time, maybe it's true, it's my fault and I dimmed your inner child.
Sorry for not taking care of you, for not showing you my love, I did my best baby girl.
I just want to tell you, you're wrong to say I don't love you, or that I just didn't want to be alone. That's not true, I only wanted to be with you. You're the only one I choose to share life with. But I'm always afraid you'll walk out that door, always wanting to talk to you first. I know, I'm not great with words, but I've noticed that when I'm quiet, you choose to stay away too.
I wish I hadn't messed up so much, that you wouldn't always want to run away from me.
I don't hate you, and I never will.
I'll love you forever because you are, and always will be, the love of my life. Maybe you're right, puppy, I'm the one who's broken. And I can't be fixed, I'm like that teddy bear that's missing parts, dirty, but you know? It still wants to be hasshed. And your hashes were always what I wanted.
I know you're going through a tough time too, and I always tried to be there and understand. Not long ago, I remember when we were lying outside your house, hashing. We always find a way to be together. I still believe in that.
I love you, sorry for everything.
I'll love you forever.
With love,
F
Published on 02/11/2023