hey D,
well was already one month without write here, i guess is bc i'm not feeling so good.
happen a lot for me this last time. And you wasn't here for me.
I guess i wanted to write you this to tell you that I love you, but you let me go. I read your signs, and i can't do anything about it. I tried. But i'm not enough for you.
It's gonna be already 2 months and you don't be able to get a coffee with me. We don't talk never ok.
You talk me only 2 times nice. And later just ignore me or say stuffs that don't help, unnecessary stuffs.
This was your decision. I'm glad u could do it. I'm glad u could move on. I'm glad u could find someone else soon.
I'm tired to be mad for that. So I got it.
Hope everything helps you to forget about me, i know you think that i'm gonna be able to do it, but no.
I still waiting something that never is gonna happen. And i need to stop.
Sometimes i thing about our journey together, and i was 100% sure that we love each other so much. But i guess i was wrong. I guess only one side feel love, and in the other side was just like a game.
I know you love me, but maybe not in the way I thought. I would never think that abandoned a person, leave someone behind and go find another dude is LOVE truly someone.
I was doing everything that I promise, include this blog. But I guess you don't care about it. I guess everything ab us was just a game for you. I'm gonna be another dude in your history. At least i'm happy to be part of your life for a while.
You promise always be for me, but till that day that i sent you a msg bc i was having a panic attack like that time at the cinema, you just ignore me. And i was like "ok, i'm not gonna bother you anymore".
I'm sorry for everything. And you know that.
I'm sorry for all the damage i cause. I'm sorry for all the bad things that i did.
I don't know where i'm going, but i'm sure that i'm not gonna be able to forget you. I think about you 24hs a day.
But idk what i'm saying that. You just don't care.
Everybody tells me that you are making more time without so much contact till you really can move on from me and get a new dude. I don't like hear people, and you know that. But i guess they are right.
Like you told me and i acepted, i'm who makes all wrong and you are right.
I don't need hear or read your few words telling me that was all my fault. i know that, I don't need to be the dude you call when you are going to a date and you feel bad ab it. I don't need a nice messages one day, and next day you just tell me that i need to take an alplax. I don't need to see you upload tik toks talking shit, hurting me. The worst is you think that is a way. But no, you are hurting me with that. What is your goal? Return all the bad things i did? idk. But good luck with that.
I just wanted to fix, to talk, to hash you, to be with you. I just wanted hash you one more time. But you prefer do this instead of talk with me. And guess what? that isn't my fault or my decision.
I always been able to fight for you, but you gave me so much signals that you don't want me. That you don't care.
And i'm just tired to fight for someone that don't want me. I can't force you to nothing.
i deserve feel loved, wanted too. And i gotchu you don't want be that person anymore.
you know that you were always my person, and you always are gonna be my person.
i love you.
i don't need any answer, at least any answer that don't help at all.
with love,
F
Published on 20/04/2024